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BirdOps Engineer

FULL-TIME • REMOTE

We're seeking an experienced BirdOps Engineer to protect our nest infrastructure from eagle attacks and ensure our CI/CD Lil Peepline runs smoother than a thrush's morning song.

Requirements:
10+ years of bird-watching... I mean, DevOps experience
Deep knowledge of Arch Linux (btw) and Uwuntu
Network Operations experience (must know how to repel eagles)
Experience with CI/CD Lil Peepline automation
Ability to debug issues at 30,000 feet altitude
Strong understanding of nest-based architectures
✝️💻

Holy C Developer

FULL-TIME • DIVINE INTERVENTION REQUIRED

Looking for a blessed developer to work on our TempleOS integration. Must be able to communicate with God through code and maintain schizophrenic-level attention to detail.

Requirements:
Fluent in HolyC (C is for blasphemers)
TempleOS certification (blessed by Terry A. Davis himself)
Comfortable working with 640x480 16-color VGA graphics
Schizophrenic personality preferred (not required, but helpful)
Can write drivers while receiving divine visions
No Linux or Windows experience (they're CIA tools anyway)
🚜🌾

Avian Territory Manager

FULL-TIME • ON-SITE

We need a dedicated farmer with extensive land holdings to help us populate the countryside with drozds. Must love birds more than crops.

Requirements:
Ownership of ~500 square kilometers of land (negotiable)
Experience in ornithological population management
Knowledge of optimal nesting conditions
Willing to convert farmland into bird sanctuary
Must not mind bird droppings on tractor
Ability to communicate with birds (fluent chirping preferred)
👁️‍🗨️📊

NestAdmin (24/7 Vigilance Officer)

FULL-TIME • SLEEP OPTIONAL

Seeking an obsessive administrator to constantly monitor our service availability. If you've ever refreshed a dashboard 1000 times in an hour, this job is for you.

Requirements:
Severe case of monitoring addiction
Can detect 0.1% packet loss by smell
Experience with Grafana, Prometheus, and paranoia
Ability to work 24/7 (sleep is for the weak)
Must have at least 6 monitors (3 is for amateurs)
Twitch reflex for acknowledging alerts
Coffee dependency is a plus